Erika Henderson - Confidence Essay

Erika Henderson

June 6, 2015

            From move-in day to the last final exam, confidence became something I had to obtain to prove to myself that I am strong enough to be who I really am in college. My name is Erika Henderson and I am a second degree decided black belt at Strickland’s Taekwondo. I have just finished my first year in college and I am proud to say that I had a successful year. I’m a two-sport collegiate athlete at the University of the Ozarks in small town Clarksville, AR. I was recruited to play softball, as well as offered to

run cross-country. It has always been my dream as a little girl to play softball at the big college level. People tell me that I look strong and confident up at bat or when I make that play in the outfield. But really, I’m not exactly the most confident person in my head. Outside of softball, taekwondo, or cross-country, I’m really just that shy girl that tries so hard to fit in and be successful. I’m too afraid of making mistakes and that is one of my biggest problems. I was put in an environment where I had to make sudden or difficult choices, and where confidence in myself had to

be put to the test. Unfortunately, I have been in situations during my first year where I have made bad decisions, decisions I regret and I can’t take them back. There have also been situations I’ve been in where I did not have control and was not strong enough in myself to overcome the situation. I was never warned that anything can happen to anyone in college. I learned that the hard way. In college, you don’t have your mom’s shoulder to cry on, you don’t have your dad’s hand to hold, but what you do have is your confidence to achieve the difficult. The point is that college is a scary place, or at least you can make it that way. Confidence does not happen overnight, it is a constant build of ups and downs throughout life. Sports are a great example of life. I’ve been through

the heart ache of sitting the bench, tears, and being yelled at because I “wasn’t good enough”. I realize now that my problem wasn’t the fact that I wasn’t good enough, my confidence was just hidden. My dad always told me that I have the athletic ability to be an amazing softball player, but confidence is the true key to show that inner beast inside. I brought those words into my college career and with those words I started every game and had the second highest RBI record of my team at Ozarks. Sports are just one of many examples of how confidence can be hidden the most or the most shown. That fact of it all, a growing adult can lose their focus of who they really are because their confidence was lost. There were times I forgot who I was in my first year. I forgot that I was a second degree black belt, a great softball player and cross-country runner who have been through years and years of blood, sweat, and a lot of tears. With my first year under me, I’ve seen it all, heard

it all, and been through it all. I’m ready now with what lies ahead of my future and ready to learn more on how to become a confident adult. With confidence, you can dig deep and find that inner strength in you, that inner beast that’s wanting to come out. When you feel like giving up is the only option, force yourself to keep fighting because that is truly who are. When you look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see? How do others want to see you? Whatever you tell yourself, that is who you will really become. It all starts with you and what you say in your head. In just eight months of being at the University of the Ozarks, I have grown into a stronger woman, a woman who has gained her confidence, and a woman who is not afraid anymore to become her true self. 

Of course, I could have never found myself or learned how to be a stronger person without the help of my incredible Taekwondo instructor, Mr. Strickland. I couldn’t be more thankful to learn from the best. Most of my taekwondo experience has been a series of ups and downs, but the words that come from Mr. Strickland are beyond helpful in any life experiences. I give my hugest thank you to Mr. Strickland. I don’t think I would be any stronger, physically and mentally, if I have never met him. It is a privilege to learn from him and I am so thankful to be a part of Strickland’s Taekwondo.